Pressing on with Multiple Lives Every Day

Photo of a woman surrounded by a circle of her own faces by The Earthy Jay @ Pexels

Many people know and live a “multiple lives” reality. This is BEFORE we even get to Listening to Our Still Small Voices and/or going after our dreams.

And when I’m talking about multiple lives, I’m not just talking about “don’t mention politics or hot button issues” in certain situations. Or just not saying something to keep the peace. Or refraining from sharing certain parts of yourself depending on the context.

When I’m talking about multiple lives, I’m talking about having to put on different pieces to cover yourself so you can “be presentable” and “go out into the world.”

It’s like putting on a spandex costume three sizes too small.

Yet, millions do this every day - to support themselves & their families, to avoid confrontation, physical and sexual harassment (and all the harassments.) To keep them from having to deal with things that are a reality but they just don’t have the time, energy and space for.

To keep from getting angry and lashing back (because we all know that the victim never gets their due and it never goes in their direction), the spandex costume, that feels so uncomfortable and takes so much extra time and energy goes on. They get ready for the mental gymnastics they have to do the entire time to keep them safe (“Don’t say this.” “Watch your gestures.” “You can’t share that.”)

I lived this way for years and still daily put the costume on for the sake of my livelihood and family.

The worst part is that I KNOW that I am ludicrously privileged.

My mind reels at what so many millions of others (who are not as privileged) have to do to get by in the world.

(And it makes me angry and comatose at times…)

It seems as if one small “considered wrong by someone else, even if that person is a stranger” can cause someone and their family not just mental, emotional and physical pain, but actual death. I wish I were exaggerating. But I’m not.

How do we handle this? How do others (in more extreme circumstances) handle this?

Though I am privileged, I feel the risk in my very being every single day. I know that my opinions, my ideas and my thoughts are not safe out there in the world. Which means my physical self is not either.

How do we keep safe when it feels like our very selves and our very physical beings are at risk?

I’ve been discussing on the podcast this season (Season 4), about how to do things stealthily, without involving people, as much as possible. And I stand by this.

You need to know what you can handle so you can keep pressing on.

There are two ways this could go.

#1) There are discussions, disagreements and arguments that are NOT worth the fight, are NOT worth staking the claim on the mountain, when there are bills to pay, people to feed and bigger things to fight for. (That’s when we put on the three sizes too small spandex costume that we all wear regularly.)

#2) Then there are times you stake the claim on that mountain. There are times you just KNOW it’s time. Some of those other things might bear some awful consequences. You are okay with it or you have gone past the point of no return. Either way, things are going to change and you are ready to take on whatever that looks like.

Both situations are right. Because they put YOU as the primary deciding force in your life.

As long as YOU are the one making the decision on what to do or what not to do, put on the too tight costume or stand your ground, that is what matters.

I wish I could write that the need for all of this would be going away soon and we could all be ourselves 100% all the time, out in the open, honest.

We can’t. We live in a world (and that world is full of people) that has a vision for what THEY want and anything outside of that, that scares them…and well, we have seen what happens since the dawn of time.

But those who have lived within and pressed through, pressed on, created amazing things, broke the status quo and opened up avenues we would have never seen…

They were not out there “being honest 100% them all the time.” They were doing what most of us do every day. Put on the too tight costume and find a way to live their lives within the society they lived in. The revolutions that people never saw coming.

That’s what we are doing when we Listen to The Still Small Voice. Revolutionizing ourselves and the world around us. It’s scary but we are doing it (and can keep doing it) - knowing what we can handle so we can keep pressing on.