Who we are and what we do (and why it all matters)

If the words “I am” are so important…(and they are)

Why are we putting them before jobs, before roles, before hobbies, before things we prefer, when all of that can disappear in a heartbeat?

“I am” is so much bigger, so much larger and encompasses so much more than our understanding. So why again, do I constantly try to shove the Infinite into “itty bitty living space?”

I watch the stories we are telling each other, telling ourselves. Is it true, good and useful? I’m lucky if it checks off even ONE of those three boxes.

I get tied to my job, my business, my role, my beliefs.

And then I am surprised when I’m frustrated with my job, my business, my role, my beliefs. I get burned out from any one of these things and say “I’m burnt out. It’s not who I am.”

GOOD!! I am not my job, my business, my role, my affiliation.

I am NOT some business, some role or affiliation that I have in this very moment (or in any moment).

We cling to the roles, the titles, the institutions and then spend our time and energy holding them up, because we think (incorrectly) that we are THEM and they are us. If they have a crack, or fall, or have a change, then we are at fault. All of a sudden WE are wrong.

No. We are not the institutions and the institutions are not us. How much less stress and heartbreak could we have if we really really really understood this.

There are two things that keep us in this cycle.

The myth of “this is the way things are” or “this is the way it has to be.” It is damaging to people and damaging to the institutions it is trying to uphold. (Unfortunately it is usually perpetrated by people who don’t want to give up the way they do things. Because they are clinging to their ideas of the roles, business or institution.)

Generic use of “I am.” We innocuously say “I am a banker. I am a mother. I am a small business owner. I am a wine enthusiast. I am a loyal and loving family member.”

All of this adds up to us feeling protective of these roles, these jobs, these hobbies. And we protect them instead of protecting ourselves.

“I am” matters.

If it didn’t, there wouldn’t be all these affirmations and phrases out there, that help you feel better, do things you are afraid to do, and help uplevel your physiology. It works.

Clinging to institutions, roles, traditions, beliefs and things OVER our ourselves, who we are at our core (without those things) - that’s when it goes topsy-turvey and gets painful.

However, it can bring about a world of good. When it is used and thought of in a way that supports us as individuals and as a larger community.