February 2024
I’m currently reading “The History of Coined Words” by Ralph Keyes where he tells the stories about words we use today. Some were meant as jokes that then turned into fields we know today (ie. scientist). Some were meant for degradation and then used by others to empower themselves (ie. suffragette). Some were words used to explain a whole different idea that turned into worldwide phenomenons themselves (ie. paradigm).
It’s freeing – we made ALL of this up and we can remake ALL of it up again.
And it’s petrifying – we DO have the responsibility to make it all up.
There are often used quotes and ideas in the coaching space that drive me crazy. Some have been overused and lost their former meaning (just like some of the words mentioned in the book.) Like the realization above, we have the responsibility to make this up and make it work for us. These ideas can be freeing or these can be road-blocks along the way.
One of my (least) favorites: “Be whoever you want to be. If you think it, you can do it.”
Well, according to this book I’m reading, that does seem to be the case. If you create yourself a new title, a new idea, it’s just as valid as anything else made up in previous generations. Others may tell you “no” but over time, it is no different than anyone else who ever created a word that we now just assume has always been common knowledge.
So there is some truth to that statement. If you think it up, it exists.
The key though is persisting in it. And in that persistence, you may have to let everyone around you think you are crazy, stupid, mean, ignorant, disagreeable, lost your mind, in denial or some other version of a combination of all of them (and more). We can argue it “The word works, it makes sense to us! Everyone else just has to catch up!”
But that’s not how it works.
I have gotten myself into a lot of trouble by using words the way I THINK they mean vs. what they really mean (or how they sound). I’ve heard that this happens a lot to those who read. And as someone who reads more than she does anything else, this has given me some trouble. Besides mis-speaking “hors d’oeuvres” and “colonel”, I really never understood that “Geezus” was well…”Jesus.” (And I still argue that it is NOT.)
I read “Geezus” therefore I say “Geezus.” In my mind, it in no way ties to “Jesus.” I don’t care that they sound the same, my intention is Geezus. Which to my elementary school mind was a great word that is fun to say. (Even when I was young I wanted to sound like an old lady.)
As I was being raised to be a “good Catholic girl” (whatever that means, we can unpack those three words of nonsense in another post), I was caught and stuck in a fight trying to explain that I wasn’t taking the Lord’s name in vain, I was saying a made up word. As someone who has a Z in her last name, everyone else thought my last name wasn’t a real word either, so I thought the same rule would apply.
It didn’t. I lost that battle. (Though to this day, I will continue to fight it.)
My intention wasn’t to take the Lord’s name in vain. (And now that I’m older, I bet they wish Geezus was the worst I ever got!) It never even occurred to me or crossed my mind that it was related. Which, I can imagine, is exactly how people feel when they create a word, a title, a song, a piece of art that gets COMPLETELY misunderstood and interpreted, as tons of people (who don’t know them or their intention) jump down their throat and cancel them.
Who’s to say who is right and who is wrong? Because we are ALL making it up as we go. *SIGH*
The intention though does matter – if we can create words, cancel words, and change it all up – what do we have to go on but intention? Can we feel it in the words, in the art, in the air? Is that why when someone says the “wrong thing” we know they meant the best and we can let it go? Or when someone says “I’m sorry” but you know they really aren’t so you don’t really accept their apology (because it’s not an actual apology) so you don’t ever let it go?
If we are making it all up – what a relief and what a responsibility. We do live in a world, with societies, cultures, laws, rules and religions. They all come together and sometimes it can make it more difficult to be in the world. That’s the trade off of making it up for yourself, you have to wait until everyone else comes along with you. Or accept that you can’t partake in “that” part of society.
Pretending that with freedom there is no responsibility or consequences is what can get us in trouble. Yes, “be whoever you want to be.” With full intention and full knowledge (even if you find it as you go) that it’s not a magic wand, but another force of society that is competing with everything else.
It’s you who makes it up AND with your intention, decides how to move and accomplish within the current world.
But of course that doesn’t look good on a meme or quote well for clickbait…