My most current audio message chat with a friend is talking about the next step or doing the next right things.
But we both have no idea WTF they actually are. Okay, I should just speak for myself – I have no idea WTF they actually are.
I try something here or there. Look back to what has worked before. I have been known to co-workers and friends as the one who just does things and sees what happens. (”What’s the worst that can happen?!”)
As I do all that I remember all the stories stating that “the thing” – whatever it is – “the thing” comes when we stop doing anything about it. Not giving up, not resigning oneself, not pivoting to something else. Just, to use the sadly not sufficient phrase, “Letting Go.”
But not “Letting Go” as one would think of it originally (or even the “Frozen” version.) It’s more an accepting. Accepting of who you are, what actually is, what you’ve done, what you want and what it all looks like at the moment. We call that “letting go” because we don’t have words or understanding as a society of how to explain it. Just like we use the word love in 1,000’s of ways as we change what it means in certain contexts.
I have to remind myself (begrudgingly): It’s not “all” in the doing. Sometimes it’s in the selective not doing. Sometimes it really is doing nothing, or at least it seems that way. And that might be the next right thing to do.
That doesn’t mean not going after things, not working a plan, or living life. It just means that maybe, just maybe, “nothing” should/could be a bigger part of the plan. And especially when it all seems crazy, messed up, impossible, a failure…nothing might be the only correct response.
So, what if the most important thing you do is nothing?
As someone who wants, desires, throws her whole heart in, works hard – I want to plan the nothing. I want to incorporate it into my schedule – like 3 – 30 minute blocks twice a week – ✅ I also know that’s not remotely the point. Granted, it might not hurt. But it’s not a button to push to get what I want. I can’t look at pockets of nothing as the answer or solution.
The nothing is more like remembering that I’m human. And there are things that stress, annoy, and take way too much out me. Some days or weeks, “eating the frog” – getting the most unappetizing frustrating task done – is NOT the answer. Pushing and agony lead to more pushing and agony. And yes, some things have to be done. I’m just not as interested in pressing, pushing and following ALL the rules anymore.
There are so many daily regular tasks that just. don’t. need. to. happen. Things can be late, half filled out or ignored – the world won’t end and things will still get done. I don’t have to delegate or worry about it. I just do nothing for a time. There is a freedom in nothing. A fear (because do I exist if I’m not doing something?!) but more a freedom.
Nothing is radical. Nothing is the most human you can be. Human being human. Just being. Without the productivity, story or agenda.
Nothing for being. Which is that state when it all seems to happen, whatever it is. So maybe you can help the process along a little bit, not necessarily as a task but as a way of life. I want to roll my eyes, scoff at those who embody nothing (meaning: I don’t see them working like crazy and with all the plans) and seem to have things land in their laps. I’m over here working my 600 point plan and doing the work of multiple people and that actually isn’t working.
So maybe, maybe, I can get behind this nothing thing, see if I can feel it and see what happens. It’s worked before and is definitely more enjoyable than that 600 point plan and working like crazy…