(and why how we think and talk about it all matters)
November 2023
Today is Thanksgiving day in the United States and I’m still ambivalent and frustrated…So today’s post comes from my pent up frustration and anger at the stories we tell ourselves that don’t serve us or the people around us.
If the words “I am” are so important…(and they are)
Why are we putting them before jobs, before roles, before hobbies, before things we prefer, when all of that can disappear in a heartbeat?
We know that “I am” is so much bigger, so much larger and encompasses so much more than our understanding. So why again, are we trying to shove the Infinite into “itty bitty living space?”
I watch the stories we are telling each other, telling ourselves. Is it true, good and useful? We are lucky if it checks off only ONE of those three boxes.
The latest narrative I see makes business and institutions bad. They aren’t.
Are there problems? OH YES. Boatloads. No arguments from me there. I will be the first to point out the myriad of flaws.
It’s not business or institutions though. It’s us. It’s our attachment to them.
Unfortunately, we tie ourselves to our jobs, our businesses, our roles, our beliefs.
And then we watch people who say “My business burnt me out. It’s not who I am.”
GOOD!! We are not our jobs, our businesses, our roles, our affiliations.
WE ourselves are God, created with the same substance as the stars. We are beyond our own understanding.
WE are NOT some business, some role or affiliation that you have in this moment.
We cling to the roles, the titles, the institutions and then spend our time and energy holding them up, because we think (incorrectly) that we are THEM and they are us. If they have a crack, or fall, or have a change, then we are at fault. All of a sudden WE are wrong.
No!
There are two things that keep us in this cycle.
The myth of “this is the way things are” or “this is the way it has to be.” It is damaging to people and damaging to the institutions it is trying to uphold. (Unfortunately it is usually perpetrated by people who don’t want to give up the way they do things. Because they are clinging to their ideas of the roles, business or institution.)
Generic use of “I am.” We innocuously say “I am a banker. I am a mother. I am a small business owner. I am a wine enthusiast. I am a loyal and loving family member.”
All of this adds up to us feeling protective of these roles, these jobs, these hobbies. And we protect them instead of protecting ourselves.
“I am” matters.
If it didn’t, there wouldn’t be all these affirmations and phrases out there, that help you feel better, do things you are afraid to do, and help uplevel your physiology. It works.
“I am” matters. And brings about a world of good. When used and thought of in a way that supports us as individuals and as a larger community.
When we cling to the institutions, roles, traditions, beliefs and things OVER our star-ness, over our connection to ourselves, others and the universe. That’s when it goes topsy-turvey and is painful.
Those doing the work of working with the “way things are” or the “way things have to be” and doing the work of bringing light, love and unity at the same time – much Gratitude to you today on the United States (very convoluted) day of National Thanksgiving.
To everyone – may your “I am’s” bring you joy, gratitude, light and well-being, for you and others, during this Holiday season.