February 2024
I have invested lots of money into coaching and leadership programs to help myself and to help other people (CAVEAT: if they should want my help.)
These two words, coaching and leadership are so loaded, so diluted and so mainstream that they really don’t mean anything anymore. It’s sad that they have become shells of their former meaning.
I have never really liked the word coach. I’ve had a few coaches of my own over the years. I am so grateful for them. They helped me immensely – holding me accountable, helping me think through things, and giving me resources along the way.
I see them as guides. And that’s what I strive to be (whether it’s my “official title” or not.)
We are all guides actually. Even the person who is NOT an “official” guide can be a guide. Actually those are usually the best people to BE guides. Like that St. Francis quote “Preach the gospel at all times. And if necessary, use words.”
The word coach, to me, has such a sports and selfish individual mentality: win at all costs, suck it up, sacrifice, put yourself through pain, no other focus in life but THIS ONE.
It reminds me of the way that many things are in this world that we don’t like. Hierarchical, top down – as if this way is the only way just because this person (in many “positions” above us) said it.
And we all know it doesn’t work THAT WAY. (Example: look at the world, it ain’t working.)
These are the things I think matter for any coach, guide, assistant or anyone who wants to just be around people and move forward together on being better people. (Again, I hope that’s everyone.)
Goal: Assist those who engage with me in becoming connected, present, loving and soulful people
No – I can’t measure it by metrics. I can’t do a survey. I can’t plug it all into a spreadsheet and see if what I am doing matters. Actually the minute I do that, I’ve lost my way. There will be ways to tell that it’s working but there will also be no way of knowing at the same time. I’m glad I’m not the judge and jury of others as I fall short myself all the time.
We (as a whole) are on this journey, consistently learning and growing together.
One does not know when someone’s offhand comment overheard in a grocery store will be the next nugget of wisdom for someone else’s life.
Usually there are opportunities for deeper and wider wisdom within and outside of the subject material. I believe everything is relevant.
I have learned more from an interaction with a friend or a random interaction with life sometimes than necessarily going through a program or a book. (And I do love programs and books! It’s my gazingus pin.)
I share knowledge, resources and time for further learning. I find commonalities and connect students, teachers and resources.
There are so many ways and reasons that we should be connected. I see no need to hide or gate keep knowledge and resources that can help others. Time is the one resource that is not renewable and is very valuable. I believe that time is the only way to be truly connected. I have to be careful on both ends (being too stingy and too liberal) as I use it to connect.
I believe relational, psychology and emotional intelligence are vital subjects to continue to study and integrate into my teaching.
I study these things not because I believe they are going to fix us and our society. I study these things to learn what others are doing and if there is a better way to say or go about something. (And to figure out the intention behind what people say – so much is emotional filled and word overloaded manipulation. I want to know what is really going on.)
Learning about seemingly unrelated subjects can open a door to a deeper and more well-rounded understanding of another subject.
I argue that pigeon-holing people is the worst thing to do (talking to you “higher” education!) We are multi-faceted human beings with varying interests. I find that I learn a lot by reading and learning about the mining, finding and pricing of gemstones around the world. I wouldn’t call it an interest of mine but I was and still am fascinated by it. This has nothing to do directly with my daily life but I know it has enhanced my thinking and questioning skills. That matters.
I continue to seek and learn from people and subjects that challenge me.
See above. If I have to work to learn about something that is challenging or maybe I don’t understand, a whole other world and way of thinking will open to me. Which means I can be open to other things. All of this is good.
I want to guide others to think critically and applicably about the material for their own individual life and the lives of the others around them.
What works for someone might not work for you. We are all different people on different journeys. I take some things and leave the rest. Then I pick up the things I discarded again a few years down the line.
My best feeling is when someone is working on integrating something from our journey together, in their life, evaluating it and making it work for them (even if they ultimately reject it).
I want to know that you are thinking, you are living and you are making choices in your life. Not just doing it because “She said this…” or “They do that…” or “He doesn’t do that so I won’t!”
I have good days and bad days with this myself. It’s the reminder that we are human and ALL of life is fodder for us as we create our own lives.