It took me 11 years to return to a retreat house no more than 45 minutes away from my house. It’s the best deal there is…a quiet place with other quiet people, three meals, lots of trails, spaces and woods to roam. I went back to my favorite place there – still there, much the same and much changed. I remember finding peace and strength there right before my divorce – though I didn’t know that at the time. I kept that picture up from September 2014 on my phone through those tough years. Now that it’s just upheaval all…
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And maybe that’s what it’s supposed to be It seems like whether we want to or not, December reminds us of things – that we wanted or want to do. My forgotten dreams come as I remember earlier holidays and/or while I’m making plans for the holiday into next year. I will pick up some old dreams I had when I was younger and check them out, again and again. Year after year. At the same time, I will also hear that incessant chatter in my brain about bringing back lost dreams and “who were you when you were kid?…
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(How to Stop and Assess) So, how do you stop and actually listen? Even if you don’t feel like you’re doing it right or doing it well or even doing it at all? What you do is you take the time and see what comes from it. And since I would never talk about something I don’t practice, here’s my example: I took the time this past month to do some checking in. Some of it was scheduled, some of it, life schedules it for you, whether or not you want it. I have considered November as a cleanup time.…
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(listening to truly listen) I happen to like four letter words. A lot. The more blasphemous, inappropriate and unprofessional the better. Because sometimes calling something awful really does not accurately apply to situations that require those unprofessional four letter words. Unfortunately, since I have no problem using them AND I’m headed into mid-life where I’ve lost whatever filter I have left, I use them much more frequently and in situations where my younger self would have been able to hold back. But this is not about those four letter words, it is about one four letter word in particular that…
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We are prepping for the Holidays Though this might be termed a “you and I” relationship, if it is one that breaks down just because you raise an objection, then it is not the sort of relationship you need in the first place. – From “The Courage to Be Disliked” by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga. My calendar has been telling me. I’ve been blatantly ignoring it. Yes, the holidays are coming. I have these gentle reminders (warnings) that start in July. These (supposedly) make sure I ask myself the right questions while NOT in the stress of holiday planning.…
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I, however, I really could do without it This is my partner and my best friend’s favorite holiday. I, however, I really could do without it. (My first choice of holidays to stop would be April Fool’s Day. Then it would be Halloween in a close tie along with St. Patrick’s Day.) I have no problem with the trick or treating, the dressing up, the candy, the decoration (except for the pre-bought spider webs, that I just don’t understand). I’m game for everything food related because it is fun and because well, food. It is always the obligation of the…
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How Baking got me closer to how I want to live For many years, I have wanted to be a person who enjoys and savors food. I have been into food for decades – growing up on Cooking Shows, Gourmet and Food & Wine in the early 90’s – I’ve always been more about consuming than savoring. Like many, food is in my blood. My parents canned their own tomatoes and made their own horseradish – just because they could. We still spend one Saturday in December making pierogi for Christmas Eve. Food is not just nourishment, but it is…
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Not every day needs to be productive to be worth something. – Sabyasachi Roy “Writing While the World Burns” (AuthorsPublish) This sentence summarizes what I’ve been feeling, what I’ve been craving and it came at the exact right time this week – thank you Sabyasachi Roy and AuthorsPublish. I cannot seem to go slow enough or reel in any productivity. Though I want to. I make plans. I have spreadsheets of what I want to write. Then when I go to that topic, I have NO interest. No desire, no longing – that time has passed. (Or I think “Do…
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It’s the end of August and everyone around me seems to be over it. The heat, the busy busy busy… Everyone around me is getting sick and things are just harder to smooth over and ignore. It’s all coming to a head with everything. It (may) help as this is the time of year that schools get ready to or are returning. And this is when all the fall sports, the events, the meetings, everything starts back up again. And for most, there was no summer of relaxation and re-charge, it was just more of the same, to-do’s, schedules and…
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(it’s a celebration and I don’t like it) Toward the end of July is normally where I would take a day off and celebrate my birthday. (Though it’s not remotely near my “official” birthday.) This is where I sound like the cranky old lady I am. I don’t like celebrations. Especially if they are about/around me. My idea of celebration, of relaxation is to hole up in my house, in silence, reading, writing and eating without any interruption. No people, no noise, just me, being me, wandering through my house in silence with my thoughts running through my head uninterrupted…