July 2023
As I’ve mentioned in past posts, I’m not great at acting all the time with my Still Small Voice.
I shared with a co-worker that if things in my life are messed up, it is not God’s fault (that’s the terminology that made sense for them). Or that it is not The Still Small Voice’s fault.
The next step will be clear, simple and easy.
The Still Small Voice says: “Step on the X in front of you.”
I say: “Nope. I’m going to step to the right onto the Y instead. I want to see what happens.”
It’s all me and I know it. I own it.
And in the previous post, there are times when there are reasons stepping onto that X is NOT your correct next step. Or maybe you just don’t want to. Ever. At all. And there is nothing any voice could do to get you there.
I mean, have you ever watched a toddler break down their parents? Have you been the recipient of someone so persistent, so perfectly annoying, that you caved from your original answer just to get them to go away?
Have you ever been so sure and then within a moment completely reversed your decision with no chance of going back?
The Still Small Voice is not a dictator. You have a relationship with The Still Small Voice just like you have a relationship with the people, things, and ideas around you.
I ignore, reject and deny my Still Small Voice ALL THE TIME.
That doesn’t mean I’m not listening to it and acting with it. It means that I am a human being who gets to make her own decisions.
It’s like listening to a doctor’s, therapists or mother’s advice. Odds are pretty good they are right (or at least have some points that are helpful). But you are under no obligation to listen to that advice or act on it. (I refuse to give up my daily pat of butter – I don’t care how high my cholesterol is. And yes, I know I sound like a cranky toddler.)
And if you could be persuaded to change your mind, what makes you think that you can’t change The Still Small Voices either?
(I could reference something about Abraham in the Bible bargaining with God to save Sodom and Gomorrah, but this is plenty.)
I seek “the way.” I seek the “vending machine God.” Even though I know better.
I want to say that if I follow my Still Small Voice it always works out. But really it depends on the moment of time that you are seeing the story.
I have a couple twists and turns in my story that looking back, I do question my Still Small Voice. I had the peace inside but the outside was a disaster and I wasn’t even doing it to get to a better place. So I question…
And I disagree. And I ignore (because “For Real! NOT. RIGHT. NOW!”)
In any real relationship, there is nothing wrong with that – it’s healthy. It’s normal.
But it’s not how we are brought up to think about “God” or any other “Supernatural Force” in our lives. Usually they are portrayed as all knowing, all seeing which leaves us with little agency of our own.
I argue, what better and more encompassing relationship to be healthy, to have dialogue, to be human with – than “God”, the “Supernatural Force” and/or our very own Still Small Voice.