Maybe…
March 2024
Photo Chris Molloy: https://www.pexels.com/photo/brooklyn-bridge-new-york-944690/
The last in this series, this phrase kept popping up in my mind. It frustrated me when I was a kid. Is this a locality thing? Did kids growing up in California hear “If everyone jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge would you?” Am I in the last generation to have heard this phrase? I am suddenly very concerned about this.
This week’s phrase: “If everyone jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge, would you?”
Maybe I was the recipient of this line. If I was, I don’t remember. It sounds quaint now. Ridiculous even. Our whole society is built off of people selling people on what is essentially jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge and making your friends want to do it too. #bestjumpeverBB *Selfie as I fall to the water* (Don’t worry the phone is in a water proof, smash proof case – the phone will make it, I won’t.)
We like to pretend that we are individuals. That we think things through. But sometimes other people can make you do things. We are all being influenced every day by the people and things around us.
“You own your choices.”
I do. You do. But let’s not forget that they were made with the limitations and expectations of society and others “gave” to us. (I say “gave” because some of them I’m sure were meant well, other expectations were “forced”. Let’s not kid ourselves on that.)
As a friend said about the 2016 election (and I’m feeling the same about this one), if there are only two crappy options you really can’t call that a choice. (I know that there are others but the whole, if you vote for the third you are essentially voting for one of the other two…even with other options, it’s not a choice.)
We are fed our options by others. I would love to do certain things but I also know that it would cause some serious effects (negatively) to myself and/or those I love, so I don’t. I want to keep my relationships with myself and others. Maybe in time that will change…maybe it won’t.
What is really funny, is that this line is only brought out when it’s something the person spouting the line disagrees with. Essentially parroting the “Holier than Thou” attitude about other people’s choices.
What did we learn last week?
Let’s not simplify each other’s lives and assume that we have ANY idea what someone else is going through.
This line was used, as I remember it, to remind kids to think before they do things, not to just follow the crowd blindly, be more responsible. All good. But I also heard it as if the adults thought we were idiots with no thoughts and lives of our own. (How many times as a kid were you misunderstood by adults because they had no perception of what you were going through even as you tried to explain it? If you got to explain it all!)
It’s not a bad line or train of thought “Just because this group does this, are you going to do it?”
I mean there are many things I will do. Eat well? Yes. Take care of myself? Also yes. Be kind to others? Yes. Definitely. Though it has nothing to do with the group, it’s nice to have support.
It still has the same tinge of all the positive motivational quotes that feel gross.
I believe that though (most) people’s intentions are good, these quotes end up being a hammer. When we really need a pillow, a journal, a nap, someone to take care of something for us.
What this is asking (I would like to think) is if this is a choice you are making because you thought it through or if it’s a choice you are making because it’s easier or just seems like it will be fine. There are many reasons that making the easier or fine choice is the right choice. It’s just making sure we know why we are doing what we are doing.
All fine, but there are nicer and more helpful ways to help people be conscious of their choices. One-liners are devoid of perspective and care. They aren’t the solutions and the positivity that’s going to make change. They may “look good” but they aren’t doing us any good.