January 2026 There is talk around me of one of those January challenges this year – actually there are plenty of them. But the one I’m talking about for this post is the movement and outside one. 2 miles outside everyday – all in one sitting. This article (really the picture) struck me years ago. Really it was the colors in the sky that pulled me. Only then did I realize that the prettiest lighting, the most jewel toned and pastel skies happen only in the winter. And I had to be outside to experience it. Over the last three…

(and why that is hard as hell on a regular basis) April 2026 Full disclosure: I was formed spiritually by Catholicism (so many versions!) in both my early years and then as a divorced single woman with no children. There is much that I find supportive and there is a WHOLE lot that I just can’t get behind. I don’t believe that I’m different from any other Catholic or any other person in any religion in this world. You do what is right no matter what. That’s what I learned though I’m not sure how. I imagined I read about…

Some thoughts April 2026 I have many faults. Some of them I’m not even aware of or they haven’t happened yet. Other faults stalk me, like that bush near my walkway I had a landscaper pull out 8 years ago. It’s back in full glory and it’s not going anywhere. In a similar style, I have tried to eradicate these long standing “faults”. At least, that’s how these particular personality traits have been presented to me by numerous other people throughout my life. Interestingly enough it is these faults that make me and what I do, who I am and…

April 2026 Every year around this time I have my scheduled yearly crisis. On the outside, I look solid. But I’m wrestling with some larger stuff internally. I mean I’m always doing that. This version though is different. I’m asking myself the impossible question: “What do I believe?” Not too long ago, I was happily (though still reluctantly) being told what I believed. I followed a set of rules (at least on the outside). I thought that even if I didn’t have it figured out that this way of living was okay. (What I had “conveniently” forgotten was that I…

May 2026 A new idea popped up for me in all my reading and scrolling: A social calendar. It’s not a new concept in any way. Thought it is one that I hadn’t thought of for a time. When I was first divorced, I was out and about all the time making connections, enjoying myself and just saying “YES” to all the things. Unsurprisingly, trying to keep up with even 1-2 groups of community proved too much for me. I was working on stepping back, when COVID stepped in and shut it all down for me. I had needed to…

May 2026 With the internal (and external) pressure to be more social, I have to pause and consider: What is really good for me, what gives me comfort, and where do I feel good? These are difficult questions for me to answer. Sometimes I’ll be driving along and think “I just want to go home.” But not to my home, to a friend or family home, or to a home from childhood. I’m yearning for a place, a feeling that if I have felt it, I don’t remember. I have no context. I need that feeling of home just as…

May 2026 Like most words, they get tossed around a lot and I absorb them. I never truly understand what they mean. One could argue the people who were saying them, don’t understand either. It was time to do a Google deep dive (without the “helpful” AI summary at the top.) “Once in a Blue Moon.” Depending on which definition you pick, it can actually be a fairly regular and scheduled occurrence. However, the way the phrase has been used, always made it seem to me it was only a few times in a lifetime – some planetary (and magical)…

The way we spin it and why we shouldn’t April 2026 I love a “suffering that brings redemption” story. Maybe it is the Catholic upbringing. I love nothing more than reading about someone who has gone “through it” (whatever “it” is) and comes out the other side stronger, more loving, more merciful, more forgiving, more them – again whatever that is. Oh and if they are genuinely grateful for the experience and wouldn’t change a thing: Perfect. Tell me more about how to always make pain into something desirable. I’ve been trained really well. Even though I know that pain…

June 2026 My most current audio message chat with a friend is talking about the next step or doing the next right things. But we both have no idea WTF they actually are. Okay, I should just speak for myself – I have no idea WTF they actually are. I try something here or there. Look back to what has worked before. I have been known to co-workers and friends as the one who just does things and sees what happens. (”What’s the worst that can happen?!”) As I do all that I remember all the stories stating that “the…

not platitudes July 2026 Whenever anyone told me to “Just be present in the moment,” I always wanted to present my fist to their face. I would never do it. Even up until (and even) now, I’ve never really acknowledged my anger about all those “Be Present. Live in the Moment. It’s all okay.” comments. I have decades of bottled up rage boiling over. I’ve been trying to throw my weight over the lid but it keeps leaking out scalding water that’s only hurting me. Which is never good but the usual story. It is one that I imagine millions…