November 2023 I had the opportunity to volunteer at a local bookshop last week for a talk on Thanksgiving. (The speaker actually wrote a book (some books) about it.) I have always had a difficult time with Thanksgiving as a holiday. Even before we started to collectively acknowledge that the “traditional” narrative is false and opened Pandora’s box… As a child it rang false to me. There was no flexibility whatsoever with this holiday. This is the meal, these are the people, this is how we do it. Suggestions, disagreements or mentions left the air around me full of tension…
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November 2023 I am asking myself this question about my cozy mission. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, I got ALL the feelings. Trying to be cozy has definitely soothed my system. Though, I think sometimes I think I can ease and soothe my way out of any and ALL emotions. Well, that’s not honest. Honest Truth: Holidays are a disastrous free-fall for me, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I have a strong desire to turn toward the warmth and light at home, imagining simple holidays that I can, if not enjoy, then at least be present and somewhat comfortable.…
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November 2023 Every year the holidays come around and every year, I just want to opt out. Not because of trauma or bad memories – those are there – they just aren’t the reason. It’s all just TOO much. Even a hermit such as myself who tries very hard to distance herself from the news, the ads and the pressure, I just want to throw up my hands and give up. I want to consciously opt out. I know of many people who just mention it like they are brushing their teeth or getting gas in their car. I want…
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October 2023 One step at a time. Small steps will get you there. You may have heard phrases like this before. And what does it mean in light of last week where we are focused on: Knowing what you can handle so you can keep pressing on doing what you can, where you are with what you have? It means baby steps. It means things you can do – preferably in 5 minutes or less that are the action steps of doing what you can with what you have. I am a fan of super small – actually, to me,…
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October 2023 Many people know and live a “multiple lives” reality. This is above and beyond “Don’t mention politics or hot button issues” in certain situations. Or by just not saying anything because it doesn’t matter and/or to keep the peace. It’s not just refraining from sharing certain parts of yourself. It’s knowing you truly have to put on different pieces for every part of your being to “be presentable” and “go out into the world.” It’s like putting on a spandex costume three sizes too small. Yet, millions do this every day – to support themselves, their families, in…
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October 2023 “Do what you can, with what you’ve got, where you are.” Although this quote is widely attributed to Theodore Roosevelt, he credits it, in his Autobiography, Chapter IX, to Squire Bill Widener of Widener’s Valley, Virginia. I rephrase this a bit to myself all the time. (It’s what I do. And what we should do – make things work for YOU.) I rearrange the phrasing Do what you can, where you are with what you’ve got! We ignore the middle parts of the sentences. Not because we want to or even realize it, but because our brain actually…
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October 2023 There are choices we make in life. And there are choices we get to make again and again. I was (and continue) to struggle with putting myself “out there.” In person, online, on social media, etc. I came across something I wrote last Spring, which gets to the heart of the matter Why am I afraid to be seen? Why am I afraid of exposing who I really am? I have nothing to fear, nothing to hide.The things that have happened to me, the things that have caused me pain and suffering (and exponential growth) are not my…
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September 2023 Okay, I must admit, last week got kinda depressing… Maybe that’s why I’ve been avoiding writing this post, still in the doom and gloom of the last one… Start of recap: Pervasive Self-Care Myth: You deserve the *$80 lotion*, *$600 dress*, *$1,200 coffee maker*…whatever your gazingus pins are. I’m going to use lotion here for this example… Continuation of Pervasive Self-Care Myth: “Yes, you could use the $10 drugstore lotion. But isn’t it so much better (And don’t you feel so better?) when you use the pricey $80 bottle that smells like gardens and money?” Because: THINGS are…
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(but this time it’s not about lotion) September 2023 I get anxious about a lot of things. You would never know it to look at me. And honestly, you will likely never hear me say it when it happens. But I do get it. And I do have thoughts. And these thoughts definitely tie into this (though it’s not about the lotion.) It’s about how we all still think – this + that = this result – no matter the circumstances, timing, or the MYRIAD OF MILLIONS of other factors that influence a result. I am currently in a health…
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September 2024 Last week I talked about the myth below and how it’s bogus. Pervasive Self-Care Myth: You deserve the *$80 lotion*, *$600 dress*, *$1,200 coffee maker*…whatever your gazingus pins are. I’m going to use lotion here for this example… Continuation of Pervasive Self-Care Myth: “Yes, you could use the $10 drugstore lotion. But isn’t it so much better (And don’t you feel so better?) when you use the pricey $80 bottle that smells like gardens and money?” Because: THINGS are just that (things!) and the MAGIC is us. AND… THINGS matter. “Wait, didn’t you just say that THINGS are…