Every year around this time I have my scheduled yearly crisis. On the outside, I look solid. But I’m wrestling with some larger stuff internally. I mean I’m always doing that. This version though is different. I’m asking myself the impossible question: “What do I believe?” Not too long ago, I was happily (though still reluctantly) being told what I believed. I followed a set of rules (at least on the outside). I thought that even if I didn’t have it figured out that this way of living was okay. (What I had “conveniently” forgotten was that I had just…
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Or we might get boiled… Since I’m not under a rock (yet!) I am reading about slow living, going back to analog and all the things that are coming out of this conversation. I’m not jumping on the bandwagon – get stuck on a backroad in the middle of the night and I want all the cell phones. There really are many positives to technology – like the fact that I’m writing this here and you are reading it – we get to share and realize we are not as alone as we thought. I do think that these concepts…
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But I have to figure out how to be okay… I had this idea that if I just scheduled all my topics out, I would write them. I called it acting as a professional. Taking myself seriously. Holding myself accountable. *Phbt* As someone who roots deeply into her routine as a matter of sanity, even I know that some of the scheduled things and being serious are the last things you should be doing. This one’s title was supposed to be “It’s okay even if it’s not okay.” But it’s not. It’s not okay that things are not okay. There…
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(when it feels like you can’t for all the reasons) Four years ago, I took a RYT 200 Yoga Teacher Training Course. I have never wanted to be a teacher (of anything, yoga or otherwise). Still, for some reason, I had this feeling that this was what I needed to do with my time (and $$) that summer. So I spent almost every weekend that summer in a yoga studio, taking a comprehensive yoga teacher training course. I have always loved and attempted to practice yoga and started when I was in college. Back then it was VHS. Then I…
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There is talk around me of one of those January challenges this year – actually there are plenty of them. But the one I’m talking about for this post is the movement and outside one. 2 miles outside everyday – all in one sitting. This article (really the picture) struck me years ago. Really it was the colors in the sky that pulled me. Only then did I realize that the prettiest lighting, the most jewel toned and pastel skies happen only in the winter. And I had to be outside to experience it. Over the last three years (since…
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It took me 11 years to return to a retreat house no more than 45 minutes away from my house. It’s the best deal there is…a quiet place with other quiet people, three meals, lots of trails, spaces and woods to roam. I went back to my favorite place there – still there, much the same and much changed. I remember finding peace and strength there right before my divorce – though I didn’t know that at the time. I kept that picture up from September 2014 on my phone through those tough years. Now that it’s just upheaval all…
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And maybe that’s what it’s supposed to be It seems like whether we want to or not, December reminds us of things – that we wanted or want to do. My forgotten dreams come as I remember earlier holidays and/or while I’m making plans for the holiday into next year. I will pick up some old dreams I had when I was younger and check them out, again and again. Year after year. At the same time, I will also hear that incessant chatter in my brain about bringing back lost dreams and “who were you when you were kid?…
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(How to Stop and Assess) So, how do you stop and actually listen? Even if you don’t feel like you’re doing it right or doing it well or even doing it at all? What you do is you take the time and see what comes from it. And since I would never talk about something I don’t practice, here’s my example: I took the time this past month to do some checking in. Some of it was scheduled, some of it, life schedules it for you, whether or not you want it. I have considered November as a cleanup time.…
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(listening to truly listen) I happen to like four letter words. A lot. The more blasphemous, inappropriate and unprofessional the better. Because sometimes calling something awful really does not accurately apply to situations that require those unprofessional four letter words. Unfortunately, since I have no problem using them AND I’m headed into mid-life where I’ve lost whatever filter I have left, I use them much more frequently and in situations where my younger self would have been able to hold back. But this is not about those four letter words, it is about one four letter word in particular that…
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We are prepping for the Holidays Though this might be termed a “you and I” relationship, if it is one that breaks down just because you raise an objection, then it is not the sort of relationship you need in the first place. – From “The Courage to Be Disliked” by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga. My calendar has been telling me. I’ve been blatantly ignoring it. Yes, the holidays are coming. I have these gentle reminders (warnings) that start in July. These (supposedly) make sure I ask myself the right questions while NOT in the stress of holiday planning.…